Recipe: Cowboy Grub

Alexa CherryBY ALEXA CHERRY
For the UAS Whalesong

Here at the UAS Whalesong, when you see an article and it says “recipe” at the top, have no fear. This is not a Mom Blog, where I talk for pages and pages about fond memories of sitting on my grandmother’s wraparound porch in the South with a glass of iced tea, while you frantically scroll and scroll, scanning for the list of ingredients that will let you know that the recipe has actually begun. All you have to read is this lead-up that tells you what this recipe is and why I wrote it for you.

Cowboy grub sounds really exciting, but it’s actually probably a step up from what actual cowboys ate. This isn’t hardtack and whiskey – this is bread, mashed potatoes, meat, and gravy. Literally, that’s it. That’s all it is. You make the respective ingredients, stack them, and eat as much as you want. Come with me on this adventure, friend. I’m all about the easy recipe life, and I hope you are as well.

YOU WILL NEED:

• Bread – Thicker bread is better, but any bread will do
• Mashed potatoes – However you choose to mash your potatoes is fine, but I recommend buying pre-mashed potatoes
• Roast beef – Shredded or in slices
• Gravy – Get your gravy. Instant, or make your own, it doesn’t matter.

Okay, got all that? You’re back from the store. You’re ready to cook. Let’s do this.

THE PROCESS:

1. Make your mashed potatoes and gravy. Depending on whatever kind you got, this could mean just heating them up or making them from scratch. Either way, they need to be hot and tasty.

2. Heat your roast beef. This is easily accomplished in a microwave. Probably only heat it if it’s shredded, though – I cannot vouch for the tastiness of heated roast beef sandwich slices. (The truly accomplished will use actual roast beef from the actual meat section of the store. You know the one. It’s the one your mom shops in.)

3. Combine everything! Put it all together like you’re summoning all five parts of Exodia from Yu-Gi-Oh. From bottom to top, stack them as follows:
• Bread
• Beef
• Potatoes
• Gravy

And there you have it! I told you it was easy. Potatoes, meat, and bread – the staples of a solid meal, all stacked together in one dish for easy consuming. Make it for yourself, make it for your friends. To top it off, I suggest pairing it with a side of vegetables (peas or green beans) and your favorite Western film. For an authentic feel, make your friends wear cowboy hats – if they complain, they don’t truly have the spirit of the cowboy and don’t deserve to eat cowboy grub with you. Them’s the rules, pardner.

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